October 28, 2008

wrapped in silence

Today my world is very quiet and reflective. I am silently dabbling away at various tasks, contemplating friendship and life and change and other such things. It is not a depressing silence, just thoughtful and quiet. Days like these are good sometimes, to think on things and try to put life into perspective. My life has been through so many changes in the past 6 months. I am trying to live more honestly and be true to myself and the people around me. It doesn't always work out the way I think or hope it will, but I do the best that I can to live without regret. I suppose that is the best I can do, make an effort and make decisions and choices that are smart and sound and which bring me happiness. Sitting in the quiet, waiting for happiness to arrive on its own, is a risky venture. And I waited for so long, in fear of doing things that would cause unhappiness, but I didn't take the risks I needed to seek and find joy on my own until recently. And the fear was valid... I have experienced much pain and sadness in the past few months. But those experiences have happened simultaneously with such bliss and joy, and I have gained so many new friends, and have had so many meaningful conversations and epiphanies and thoughts and periods of creativity, that I can see that the fear is a worthwhile thing to confront and overcome. So now I sit in the silence, but no longer in fear. I know now that it is ok to be afraid, but it is even better to be brave and set that fear aside to really experience life. And that is what I intend to continue doing...

3 comments:

  1. You go, Girl!

    I know what you mean about quiet. It's not always a bad thing. Sometimes it's the silence that nutures our souls just right and can't be replaced by anything else. The quiet forces us to listen... listen a little deeper.

    So, you go, Girl! Take the time you need for yourself and ENJOY!

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  2. Thank Andrew, you are an amazing source of understanding and support. I am enjoying the silence...

    Jean! I miss you, awesome woman!

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